Welcome once again to the "Random Review". This one is
out of the Coliseum stack. I honestly can't remember
the last time I watched this one, which may or may not
be a good thing, because this tape is all about the...
ULTIMATE WARRIOR!!!! FEEL THE POWER!!!
SSSSNNNNOOORRRTTT!
[oops, got carried away there]
This sucker is from mid-89, as evidenced by the promo
for "No Holds Barred". It's coming out soon, you know!
Also some promos for Slim Jim's and anti-smoking. Did
you know the Ultimate Warrior is gay? Neither did I,
but that's what the popular word around here is...
***************
Quick sidebar:
***************
You know those ads that say "tobacco is whacko if
you're a teen,,," ?
Does that mean if you're 12 or under, let it rip? Food
for thought there.
***************
Available 08.09.1989:
Best of the WWF 20, Demolition,
and Fan Favorites
[usual 1988-9 WWF intro. That thing kicked ass. The
one where they go alnog the water with the mountains
in the background...]
[Video montage of the usual punches, clotheslines,
posing, and rope-shaking]
[Warrior incoherently runs down the show. I love how
they play Hercules up as a Greek superhero. You just
can't make this stuff up.]
Warrior vs. Hercules
Man, what was the name of that black ring announcer?
He was the guy at my first ever show in 1991. This is
not from WrestleMania IV. I can just see where this
one is going. Hernandez has a wimpy-looking chain
here, and if that's not foreshadowing anything, I
don't know what is. Almost as weak as the handcuffs
that they used on Liz in 1988. Warrior and Herc with a
tug-of-war, Herc cheats, and then they BREAK THE
CHAIN. I guess that was pretty big stuff in 1988. And
the match is over! Wait a minute, did it ever start?
I'm so confused. The segment just drags on as Herc
chokes Warrior, and then they brawl for a bit.
Incoherent promo, nothing of note. I do miss the
"parts unknown" stuff though. The Warriors told him to
go to SummerSlam for a destiny-changing event...
IC Title match: Honky vs. Warrior
"I got long sideburns, I got my hair slicked back..."
[oops, sidetracked again. That music kicked ass]
This is, of course, the SummerSlam match. Man, Honky
sure had some real HEEL heat. Just great stuff. I
don't know if anybody else noticed this, but back in
those days, they had some little lights hung over the
ring to simulate camera flashes. Anybody know why that
was? Anyways, Honky wants a challenger. Warrior's
music hits, and Monsoon has no idea who it is. Warrior
hits the ring as Finkel heads for cover. Warrior with
about 20 seconds of offense, followed by a
particularly weak-looking splash to win the belt. Sure
was a loud crowd pop though. You know, I can't think
of too many people who were over as heels more than
Honky. Bad match, but historical.
Jeez, 2 matches down and about 30 seconds of
wrestling. Kinda like Raw these days.
Looks like a rematch, as Honky cuts a CLASSIC promo.
Funny but as Honky makes sure that he is referred to
as the IC HEAVYWEIGHT champion. Heh. This could be
historic as Honky could become the first 2-time
champion. If that was true, I didn't even know that.
Another incoherent promo by the Warrior.
IC Title: Warrior vs. Honky
The match barely gets underway, and Honky tries to
leave, but Warrior presses him and carries him back.
Warrior hits the DOUBLE NOGGIN-KNOCKER on Honky and
Jimmy Hart. Man, there is some obvious canned heat
here. The crowd is constantly cheering, although
camera shots prove otherwise. Hart distracts the ref,
and Honky goes to work with the megaphone. Honky and
Hart cheat like bandits and it works pretty well, at
least until he tries to ram Warrior's head into the
corner, and it's no-sold. They trade places, and Honky
oversells like a champ. Honky goes for a couple of
clotheslines, but gets shoulderblocked, and that's
that.
Another promo.
IC Title: Warrior vs Greg "The Hammer" Valentine
Ya know, here's a couple things that I miss:
1) The managers introduced first.
2) The real Hammer, NOT Bart Gunn at WrestleMania XV
I like the Hammer a lot, especially when Monsoon used
to play up the fact that it took the Hammer a while to
get warmed up. Not-so-fat-Tony on commentary here.
Valentine and Hart get in the cheap shot with the
shinguard to start. Man, this is a slow match. Lots of
punching here. Hammer to the top rope, and you know
that's a bad idea. Valentine misses, and Warrior goes
for a move that appears to be a jawbreaker, but if
it's that, it's not even close. Hart steals the
shinguard from Hammer and tries for a sneak-attack on
Warrior, but Warrior picks Hart up and throws him at
Hammer, and Warrior finishes with a clothesline.
Warrior vs. King Haku
On commentary here are Billy Graham and some guy I
have never heard before, but Graham calls him "Rod",
so I'll go with that. Hey, I kinda like this guy. I
miss the days when not every arena looked exactly the
same. Warrior with the typical offense. Warrior with
an atomic drop, but Haku can't sell them like like
Honky, that's for sure. Warrior with some pretty loud
chops, and then misses a charge...and Haku decides to
go for some sort of rest-...err, NERVEhold, and
Warrior powers out, and then Haku tastes turnbuckle.
Warrior goes for the 10-count punch, but gets atomic
dropped. Another nervehold, but Warrior powers out.
Warrior goes for a splash, but Haku gets the knees up.
More punching, but Hanu goes for ANOTHER nervehold.
Ergh. Warrior powers out, and it's time for some
rope-shaking. Warrior finally hits the splash to put
this match out of its misery.
Another promo. Man, these are just pretty typical.
YES! RANDY SAVAGE!
Title vs. Title: Randy Savage (WWF champion) vs.
Warrior (IC champion)
It's kind of weird to see Savage here without anybody
else...not Sherri or Elizabeth or anybody. Savage sort
of looks like he's not interested in being there.
Warrior with the usual junk, Savage comes back, goes
for the double ax-handles, and gets hooked in the TREE
OF WOE! Warrior gets a couple of shots in. Funny bit
as Warrior picks up Marella and puts him on the top
turnbuckle and tells him to stay out of it. Savage
hits the ax-handle to the outside. Savage weakly slams
Warrior into a chair at ringside. I mean, for a guy
who piledrove a guy through a table in 1984, that's
unacceptable. Savage with a LONG chinlock sequence,
and then hits the ax-handles to the inside. Savage
goes for a suplex, but it's reversed. Hey, it's Rick
Rude! Rude poses to try and distract Warrior, but it's
not working. Warrior goes for the splash, but Savage
blocks. Savage tries to capitalize, but Warrior SHAKES
THE ROPES. Warrior hits some punches, and then takes
off after Rude, and we get a brief shot of Rude's
underwear, for those of you who like that sort of
thing. All three fight on the outside, but Savage is a
genius and rolls back in at the last second to secure
the win. Warrior and Rude celebrate but Warrior breaks
it up, and Savage leaves Rude high and dry.
Super-Posedown: Rude vs Warrior, Royal Rumble 1989
Man, the commentary here is classic as Ventura
slanders Okerlund for the tone of voice that he uses
when he introduces Rude. I love the "equipment" that
Rude uses to workout when he's not posing. Classic
stuff as Heenan tries to butter up the crowd. Gorilla
mentions that Ventura's biceps "never looked like
that" while Jesse retorts that "at least I had
biceps"."Best abdominals, Gorilla...that's where the
bananas go". Just classic stuff. Heenan needs 15
minutes for Rude to get ready for the next pose. Heh.
Anyways, you know what happens, as Rude kanks Warrior
with the workout gear.
Highlights of the WrestleMania V title match. The
ending surprised me, that's for sure. Probably a
"pleasant" surprise. Rude wins with an assist from
Heenan. I love hearing Ventura openly cheer for
Rude...
Rematch: Warrior vs. Rude (1989.04.22)
Taped at Boston Garden. Schiavone and Alfred on the
stick, and the match starts with Warrior pummeling
Rude with the usual offense. Funny bit as Heenan
distracts Warrior on the outside, Rude tries to hide
for a sneak-attack around a corner, but it's thwarted
as Warrior sneaks up from behind him. Warrior with an
inverted atomic drop, and the expression on Rude's
face is classic. But, they don't even show the end of
the match.
Rematch: Warrior vs. Rude (1989.05.08)
Hey, this could be the same match, as Rude is getting
pummeled again. I loved the wood stairs they used to
use. I doubt they'd be UNFORGIVING, though. Anyways,
more of the same, but they don't show the end of the
match AGAIN. Ergh. Hmmmm, this tape may be breaking my
VCR...
Another incoherent promo to close out the tape.
The Analysis:
I guess if you love the Warrior, and you like the same
basic match a LOT and enjoy watching it A LOT, you'd
better find this one ASAP. However, the really
historical stuff is on other tapes, and the matches
that are here are pretty bad, although the Savage
match was actually not that bad. But I wouldn't go out
of my way to get this one or anything.
