Retro Review #2 Raw is War 1998.02.09 Man, if you like recaps from the DX beatdown on Austin last week, this is the show for you! 23.1.2003 by Big D

Well, here's one out of the large stack of Raw tapes :)

Review of DX beatdown on Austin

Man, the old Raw theme kicked ass! IN YOUR EYE!!!!!

[RAW]

Live from Evansville, IN

[glass breaks]

Man, Austin isn't even talking to nobody in particular on the way to the ring...He must be pissed.

Austin interview: Man, in your house, there's no way out on Sunday! DX breaks in on the TitanTron, and Shawn calls the shots around here. Heh. Austin has Shawn's belt. Shawn looks in his bag, and he's got a replica. Austin pulls out the belt. *sniffle* that belt was classic.

Yeah! It's Sunny! Drugs aside, she should have won the Raw X diva award.I don't buy her as a ring announcer though.

Leigon of Doom vs. Jeff Jarrett/Barry Windham w/Cornette/RNR Express:
I wonder how much of a coincidence that the RNR wears black trunks with "NWA" on them? I mean, these guys aren't the nWo...Less personality, but more wrestling talent. I don't even recognize Jarrett in there with long hair. Lots of punching and kicking. Action spills to the outside, and there's more punching and kicking. Back inside, and Jarrett hits the DUMBEST MOVE IN ALL OF WRESTLING! Animal with a sunset flip, but since it's passe', it doesn't work.JR has to break out the "smash-mouth". I HATE THAT PHRASE. Animal with a neckbreaker. Pier-six, and Animal gets dropped on his knees on the USS. Jarrett goes for the figure-4, Bradshaw runs in, and the NWA wins by DQ. Not actively bad, but not that great, either.

Recap of the Austin/DX mess

Recap of Shotgun, as the Godwinns cost the Quebecers a win against the Boricuas. Heh.

Pierre vs. Henry O. Godwinn
Man, these teams were both totally misused. The Quebecers were cool, and the Godwinn thing was way past its heyday (heh). I wonder why the WWF couldn't use the Tex Slazenger and Shanghai Pierce (Texas Hangmen) gimmick. Ergh. And with the time I spent thinking about and typing that, I haven't missed a damn thing. Pierre with a suicide dive(!). Man, Jacques Rougeau was hilarious.

IIIIIIII'MMMMMMMMMMm TTTTTTTTHHHHHHHHHHEEEEEEEE MMMMMMMMOOOOOOUUUUUUUNNNNNNTTTIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEE!!!!

Oops, got sidetracked. Pierre misses a senton...match ends when PIG hits Pierre with a rather soft-looking slop bucket shot for a HOG win. This wasn't so good.

Backstage, Chyna tries to recruit the Boricuas to help against Austin.

Another review of the Austin/DX segment from last week.

Recap of Pantera turning on TAKA on Shotgun.

TAKA/Aguila vs. Pantera/Brian Christopher
Man, this stuff could have been great if the cuisers hadn't been so underutilized. TAKA and Aguila go to double dropkick, except Aguila is a little late :) Man, this is pretty much a spotfest. LUCHADOR PILEUP! Well, at least it's better than punching. Christopher with a full-nelson "stroke", and then it's time for the trademark laugh. More spots. Christopher goes for the brass knucks, but TAKA thwarts the attempt, Pantera takes them, puts them in his mask, and hits TAKA with a loaded headbutt off the top during a roll-up for the win. Not bad, but a little disappointing.

Kane/Paul Bearer interview. Rambling about Kane's upcoming match with Vader.

Clips of The Rock beating Tom Brandi on Smackdown. Ya know, I forgot to mention it in the Raw X review that I was glad that he got booed out of the building.

Recap of Austin/DX from earlier tonight. Well, at least it wasn't last week's footage again...

[War Zone]

Ken Shamrock/Chainz (w/DOA/Ahmed Johnson) vs. Faarooq/The Rock (w/NOD):
The Rock approves of human cloning, as long as it's done very selectively. Nobody in Indiana deserves it...only one man does...the people's champ...etc. Man, I miss those days.

Man, I have to give props to Faarooq for taking a pathetic gimmick and making a go of it. Ergh. Ross rolls out the "catch as catch can" as Shamrock works over Rock. I hate that phrase too, Pretty much what you'd expect. Shamrock tries to work the submission stuff, while everyone else resorts to fistacuffs. At least the Rock didn't do the "pinebuster" and the "overhead garbage-plex" that take up 50% of his moveset these days. End comes when Rock hits Shamrock with a rough-looking chairshot when Shamrock had Faarooz in the anklelock.Shamrock is a little confused, as he hits the belly-to-belly on Chainz and the referee. He's in the zone! No parking zone?

Recap of the WrestleMania XIV press conference. Announcement of the main event, the poster of which I've had on my wall for the last 5 years. Ugh. Stop talking, Mike! It's painful to listen to, and his crotch chops sucked too :) Argh! Shut up! Mike wants to get involved, and then he wants to eat your children :)

Chyna is looking for Austin in the locker room.

Steve Blackman (pre-personality) vs. Recon (with Sniper):
Man, even though the Truth Commission wasn't particularly intruiging to begin with, they lost any kind of entertainment value they had when the Jackyl left. Wait! He's on a descending pulpit! Sweet! Intellectual intercourse! Man, this stuff is great. Jackylites! Yeah! Why can't they bring him back? Jackyl stops when he realizes that Blackman has just made Recon submit to some kind of elaborate arm-bar. Jackyl tells the Commission off, and then slaps Recon, and they almost retaliate. Classic stuff.

New Age Outlaws recap when they sent Chainsaw Charlie and Cactus Jack off the stage in a dumpster last week (flight 666), runway 69. Heh. And then they push another dumpster off the stage, complete with dummies of Chainsaw and Cactus.

Austin locks the Boicuas up backstage, and Chyna is PISSED.

MarilynDust (w/Sable, Marc Mero, and Luna) vs. Headbanger Thrasher (w/Mosh):
Pretty dull match. Sable gets sent to the back, and then returns to get into it with Luna. Sable slaps 'Dust, and he gets rolled up by Thrasher for the win.

DX comes out, and Shawn wants the belt back. Austin wants Shawn to ask for it politely:

Shawn: "Austin, get your ass out here, PLEASE!"

(Heh)

Austin comes out and runs DX off, and then the Outlaws come out and accomplish nothing. Chyna steals the belt back, and then Cactus and Chainsaw come up from under the ring, and Owen hits the ring, and it's a pier-six. DX retreats. Make sure you order IYH:NWO this weekend :)

The Final Word: Man, they are putting stripper poles in a room on "Trading Spaces" as I type this. Anyways, this show was pretty much all hype for the PPV. The Jackyl stuff is classic, The ring action, however, leaves something to be desired.

Comments? You know where to send 'em.