I was sitting down to write a painful article on the Grammy nominations today when the coolest song came on the radio. "Volvo Driving Soccer Mom" by Everclear.

First off, as a general rule, I hate Everclear. I saw them play a show back in the early nineties in Keizer, OR. Man, they were so bad that I wanted my 3 bucks back!! Then, one day, I hear this god-awful 3-chord song on MTV. Oh look, Everclear made it to the big show. How pathetic. Art's well documented bouts with drug abuse and the public spectacle of his personal life have served to lighten up some of my feelings towards his stuff. He's even got his own radio show here in Portland on KNRK. So, I have been a little bit more open minded towards his stuff. That doesn't change the fact that "Santa Monica" and "Buy You A New Life" are TOTAL crap!!

Anyway, so this song comes on. At first I am dreading a new EverQueer song, but I listen to the words. Man, they are sooo true!! He's talking about this girl that used to be real wild. "I was in a threesome with my sister and her boyfriend" or something like that. Then follows the chorus with, "Now I'm a Volvo Driving Soccer Mom!" Man, that hits so close to home that it isn't even funny. I mean, I never had a threesome with my sister, and I'm not a soccer mom, but I think most of us can at least kinda relate to this.

Then, he hits home with, "Where do all the porn stars go when the lights go down?" Good question, right? I thought so. I lose sleep over it, actually. Well, thank you, Art, for clearing this controversial subject up for all of us. Apparently, all these porn stars turn into "Volvo Driving Soccer Moms!!" Man, my knee actually hurts from all the slapping!

Okay, so keep an ear out for the new single. It is really worth a listen. Also, keep an eye out for the new album, Slow Motion Daydream which will be in stores on Tuesday, March 11th!

Sad...very sad.